Experiment

Everyone keeps saying I should write a blog and get ads and followers and become famous and cool and rich.
Every time someone says that I laugh it off and say I cant write but secretly inside of me I wonder - could I do this? Would people be interested in what I have to say?

I cant be funny on demand. Its like that one time I made a Twitter account and all of a sudden I felt so pressured to be funny and cool and literally had nothing to say. Despite me making multiple statuses a day on my Facebook account, I sat there for 45 minutes trying to think of something 'worthy' of being on Twitter. I came up with nothing and deactivated the account.

If someone recorded my mind on a loop, I am sure that there would be funny or inquisitive things that people would be interested in seeing or reading about. Hey, maybe even some great ideas or inventions.
But right now all I am thinking is how I wish the window was closed because it got really cold all of a sudden, and its so weird that Belle runs in her sleep - I wonder what she is dreaming about. If only this chocolate bar was being held in front of my mouth because both of my hands are currently occupied with typing this mindless drivel.

As soon as I start thinking about what I am going to type, my mind freezes up. Virtual stage fright. Computer fright? Screen fright? As if.
I have so much bullshit to say to the people around me, I can barely hold it in and censor myself and all of a sudden when I ask myself to type something, just for myself I blank out. Where has the Shira quirk and personality gone? Maybe it left with the alcohol. 25 Days Sober.
That would be super awkward if my personality disappeared when I stopped drinking. Have no fear guys - its just a temporary break. Trying to find reality.

When I get in the mood of music I listen to the same 3 songs over and over. The songs vary depending on what mood I am in but regardless of the genre of the music -- I will have that shit on replay for hours. All of a sudden its 2 in the morning and I end up sitting here wondering where the time went. Oh yea, I lost track of it the 34th time I listened to this Eminem song.

I got to find something to do with my life. Maybe I should set up an hour a day where I just sit in front of the computer writing down every thought that comes into my head.
Maybe I should find my Canon Point and Shoot and take faux artsy pictures of Nachlaot. Oh look a wrapper, let me bend down on the floor and get an angle that makes that dirty candy wrapper look pretty. Add an Instagram filter and we are set. Photographer available for hire. I take pictures of the shit that you throw out. One day I will open up a gallery filled with artsy pictures of different pieces of trash.
Dont you love when people do that? Someone buys you a fancy camera, you make a Facebook page for your 'business' and all of a sudden you have a career. You take a picture of the tree, sharpen the image, use a contrast filter, and now its art. A true photographer in our midst.
I'm going to eat my words as soon as I can convince someone to buy me a fancy camera, but until that mystical day comes I will hide behind my computer screen and mock those who do this.